always and forever

In our current day and age,

everyone is obsessed with this idea of love,

that having a special someone to be there for you is everything.

So maybe when I was younger,

I loved watching people in love/matchmaking people.

But lately, I have been thinking

What is the big deal about love?

Why does it have to come from this guy/girl?

What's so special about that?

I've never been in love

and I can safely say I never want to,

I might daydream once in a while

but that doesn't change anything

cause those are just dreams

love makes you weak.

love gives someone else this ultimate power over you.

and yes,

while there are people who are going to start giving me advice after this,

understand this first,

would it be wonderful to fall in love with this guy who is your prince charming?

yes, i'm sure it would.

but the question is at what cost are people doing that now?

Movies,books, advestisments.

they are all about falling in love and being happy after that.

that's a fantasy.

a really sweet but still a fantasy. it's not real.

you know what's the problem,

love is so widely advestised that it's not special anymore

it's just a need to feed someone's ego.

and i'm tired of people who keep telling me

to just open that door,

because maybe you're willing to get hurt like that,

let someone rip your heart into a million pieces

let someone hurt you like nothing has ever before.

but i'm not okay with that

so yes maybe i'm just not meant to fall in love.

because to me,

that mountain is too high a jump,

that gap across cliffs too far.

that bridge too shaky.

I promise you,

after this,

I will not ask you when your getting married/a girlfriend/a boyfriend

cause i'm tired of love.

I'm growing up and leaving that part of me behind.

First post of the year,
and it's already mid jan.
oh my gosh.
I'm terribly late with my year end musings and new year goals
so i'll make this short.
Reflecting on the past year, I realised that alot of things that happened
I only have myself to blame,
I also have alot of blessing from god to be thankful for.
1. Thank you for being with me furing my stay in the Hospital for Dengue, for giving me that bible passage to tell me to trust in the Doctor. For getting my daddy to come just when I started feeling lonely and sad about being struck in A & E with no ward.
2. Thank you for the wheelock college approval letter (: I think that really made the year.
3. Thank you for giving me a wonderful family to support me through all my down times and to share my joy with
4. Thank you for fantastic friends who encouraged me and listened to me rant about silly silly things.
5. But most of all, thank you for being with me throughout 2009. (:

In 2009, i learnt more then anything that you reap what you sow. Yes, I admit, I have been incredibly lucky with alot of things. i'm saying that yes there have been so many times when I didn't work that hard but everything went right.
But this year, as graduation is coming and a new chapter begins,
I want to make the best of my own potential to grow more
not only spiritually but also personally.
Skills wise and knowledge wise.
I want to grow up now, and stop hiding behind the protective wings of other people.
This year, I want to do new things, fall and stand up and have the perservance to keep going when the going gets tough.
I want to finally finally see things through.
This year, I want to maximize me, valerie lim and be someone.