always and forever: October 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

because of you,
i find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

angel dear, i want you to know that i love you too!
and we will surely go out soon.
the holidays are here, by right i should be happy.
but i feel weird not going to school.
maybe i miss studying. ahaha.
the exam results should be out soon.
hope i can make it.
have been stressed about it for weeks.
but i am fine now, thanks to him.
for never failing to make me laugh and smile.
i am contented(:

angel dear, i will see you soon right?
take care deary!
ilu.
goodnight(:

Sunday, October 28, 2007

ANGEL DEARR.
I LOVE YOU!
I MISS YOU ALOT! :(
we need to go out more often.
i don't see you anymore.

i think i just over committed myself
to too many things.
but right now,
i really need to stop thinking.
so the more work the better it is.
that way reality can stay far away.

Because, we all can use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything’s going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that.
-Brooke Davis, one tree hill, the show must go on.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

angel deary!
you will be fine.
don't worry okay.
i am always here for you!
okay, lets talk about happier things.
seeing you on friday!
lets go and eat popcorn!
i have cravings for that.
and shop shop shop!
i want that tee from newurbanmale,
that costs 49.90.
maybe i should go and work or something.
oh! and i think we need to bring out our cams one day.
we need more pictures!
okay, goodnight dear!
take care, love you!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Valerie Lim has fallen sick. ):
what wonderful timing!
school opens tomorrow.
I now have ten times more medicine to eat.
at least my medicine has colour now,i guess.
oh wells.
god must be trying to get the message through
that i am to cut down on going out so late at night.
and eating supper.
and since daddy's majorly pissed off at the going out late part,
I should stop going out for supper, before I get myself grounded.
anyways random lyrics.

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

You go before me,
You shield my way,
Your hand upholds me;
I know You love me.

Everything's changed, and I want to believe
There must be a reason, there just has to be
Cause my faith is strong, till it all hits home
And it's not enough for me to trust
When it hurts too much
On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I need to praise You
For I am Yours, I'm Yours

It must have been angels
who carried me
When I was too weak to lift my feet
When I was too blind to clearly see
Heavenly lights shined down for me
It musthave been angels
Watching over me

this is freaking irritating.
i wish it could all be simple.
black and white would be great.
no greys
cause your confusing me.
really you are.

dear lord,
walk with me,
cause the road just got long,
and I don't think I can make it without you.

time to drown in my neverending medicine.
and drift of to a hopefully dreamless sleep.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

can't sleep, so maybe if i can see my thoughts in
black and white i will be able to get over it.
really the wake up call was just what i needed.
silly vally.
don't you know by now.
the higher your hopes, the harder you fall.
now will you please pick yourself up
and move on.
and over time, it won't be so difficult anymore.
and if it doesn't get better.
you can always shoot yourself.

so i'll let the tears flow.
and when they run dry.
you'll be gone with them

Sunday, October 7, 2007

dedicated to,
Jo and jac,for always being there when i needed you
bona, for being a listening ear.
and finally, for my superhero(i'm nice i gave you a codename like you requested) that you have faith in yourself and your abilities.

Faith

to trust someone for no reason, to believe impulsively, to depend on someone

The orange flames burnt brightly against the darkness of the night. Smoke rose out of the building as it slowly collapsed against the heat of the flames. Men wearing red caps and holding long hoses, dousing the building with streams of water were the last scene Christine had seen from the window.

Being only three, she didn’t know what was happening around her, she could feel the heat against her skin and it was getting unbearable. The smoke entering her eyes made it sting and hard to open her pale green eyes. Breathing was also becoming difficult for her, fear coursing through her veins, tears rolled down her cheeks. As she curled in to an even tighter ball, crushing the teddy bear she held to her body. Under her the table she was hiding, she watched the flames approach her and burn everything in its way.

Christine glanced at the window; it was really just a short distance from the table. She had just ran from it to hide away from the flames. ‘Daddy where are you? I’m scared.’ With these thoughts, she slowly edged towards the window. One hand reaching for the ledge, the other tightly clinging on to her favorite teddy bear, her fingers curled around the ledge as she pulled herself up against the wall. Her tiny head peeked out of the window; desperately she scanned the crowds for a familiar face, any familiar face.

A horrified cry made 20-year-old Jordan look up. There trapped in the burning building was a little girl. Something about the terrified look in her eyes, made him dash into that already collapsing building. Smoke billowed out of the entrance as he ran in, ignoring cries from his teammates he ran up the staircase. Smoke stung his eyes, as he climbed up. Covering his mouth with his hand, he searched for the little girl he saw by the window.

Upon entering a slightly smaller room, he saw her curled into a tight ball, her back against the wall. Her tiny hands still gripping her teddy bear, reaching for her, he gently lifted her up and carried her in his arms. She clung on to him, as he made his way out of the building, as he climbed down the staircase; he heard a groan and a crash. His heart sped up as he saw the pillars collapse around them.

Looking down at the little girl’s hopeful eyes, he steeled himself and made a mad dash for the entrance. Just as he made it out of the building, it collapsed burnt and black. That was their first meeting, but by then, Christine had grown quite attached to her hero. The innocent want for him to play with her, go to the park with her and really just too simply spend time with her and be her playmate. And so, a friendship blossomed between the three year old little girl and the twenty year old boy.

Now two years down the road, the same little girl stares at her hero; behind the bars of his cell, his hypnotized eyes vacant and blank. Her parents didn’t want her to be near him, after all who would want their daughter to be near a killer, a robot killer at that, one that just did someone else’s bidding. Totally controlled by a madman whose greatest wish really was total control of the earth, but Christine had thrown tantrum after tantrum over the disappearance of her hero. Finally, having no other choice, her parents brought her to see him; she smiled slightly as she was let into his cell. Gently she rubbed her face against his, and hugged him. To her, no matter what happened, he was still her hero, someone who protected her, someone who had risked his life to save her.

Scared that she would be hurt, her parents stood up to pull her away from him. But the little girl smiled and shook her head, “I have faith in Jordan ge-ge, he won’t hurt me”

And maybe it was the doctor’s medicine finally working, or it could have been the protective love he had for this little girl who never lost hope in him. And maybe, just maybe it was that little girl’s faith in her hero that finally brought him back to his senses.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

shoot me someone;
like now.
this is so frustrating.
argh.
right now, even if i cried.
i don't think you would care.

inspiration,
making an appearance now would be great.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

JACQUELINE!
WHEN YOU FINALLY
HAVE TIME
TO
A) COME ONLINE
B)TALK ON THE PHONE
C)GO SHOPPING
PLEASE CALL ME!
I THINK JO AND I ARE GOING INSANE WITHOUT YOU.
LIKE HOW FANTASTIC!
I MISS YOU!
ALOT ALOT :(

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

here's to shakespeare.
greatest writer of all time.
i could fall in love with his writtings.

Willam Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved

always and forever