random scribbles
we're standing in the middle of a crowded hospital,
the quarrel seems to be getting bigger.
" You can't expect me to stand here and just wait"
" it's not possible. I don't want to know that while your only a few meters away from me
I'm losing you."
"Anything can go wrong in there." she insists
" I rather be inside there risking my life and know that no matter what your safe outside" I say
" and i would rather know that no matter what we're doing this together." She says
" I can't live without you"
And that's how we end up next to each other in an operating theater.
This semester for a module we are supposed to write a book on any disability for children.
I learnt so much from this just being part of the process,
the interview, the coming up with the words.
I read a book once that having a child with special needs is like getting on an airplane for a trip. You think you are going to Venice, but then the stewardess tells you have landed in Holland. Well, you can spend your time crying for the gondolas, or you can get out and enjoy the windmills. It’s not quite what you had expected, but it is beautiful all the same.
-Denise BrodeyAnother thing people often forget when we look at children/people with special needs is that they have thier own unique abilities.
the one thing that really struck me the most while doing this book on down sydrome,
was how these people have such dreams that they are going to be able to do this and that.
and us average normal human beings who have that capacity to be able to live our dreams
often don't have dreams or don't believe we can make our dreams come true.
sad isn't it
Val's in a fluffy mood (:
I found two sweet poems from Sammie's blog
I'm stealing them just so you all can read them too.
You’re in breach.She said.You promised to call.(although no consideration was given at all).So I said,my dear,it was only an invitation to treat,as you can see,there’s no way our minds could meet.I was waiting to offer youa chance to go out.And then after to decide,what our contract was about.She asked: What are our remediesIf this contract ends?Will we be strangers,or continue as friends?To that I replied,(as reasonably as can be),that there are certain terms,implied to me.Although its not stated,Not exactly express,I shall still say it to put your mind at rest.This party will never,be in breach.And he promises loveto both parties,each.My Unfinished Poem
My poem is, by nature,my very own.My thoughts yearn to make my wordstheir very home.So if you were my poem,It means that,you are mine.Except words could notdescribe what isso divine.And if you were my poem,it should mean to say,once you are written,you are in my heart to stay.But If by writing, I must finishwhatever I begin,then I hope that my poem,will never end.
100 God Moments of 2008
I read Eunice's blog, and I was so amazed by what she wrote on how she could feel god in the simplest things. So I decided that before I start my assignment, I'm going to thank and remember God for all the times he has blessed me in the year 2008
- Teaching catechism every Saturday
- Talking about the Our father and realizing what it truly means
- Singing in the choir after not appearing for a while
- Reading and singing the hymn people of god
- Doing bible verses cards for Jo
- Every single time i visit TTSH and my medicine dosage is lessen
- Going for World Youth Day
- All those prayer meetings we had before World Youth Day
- Listening to the talks at WYD
- Listening to John Angotti play and sing P & W
- Listening to the words of Common Ground
- Being able to buy that WYD Jacket
- Hearing Through Christ when I was feeling low ( at that time I had never had this song)
- Esther talking to me about trials in life
- Mummy encouraging me when I felt like giving up
- Daddy for his endless messages on what time we come home and how (it reminds me you care)
- People telling me that I am very home bound ( reminds me that my family is important)
- Finding that quote on families and realizing how much it relates to mine
- Baking mummy's surprise cake
- Having a sense of peace while conducting my lessons
- Singing at midnight mass
- Shopping for Christmas
- Opening Christmas presents as a family
- Having all those people who didn't know what was going on in my life come and give me unexpected and really helpful advice
- Going for Monday and Friday Charismatic
- Getting a part time job
- Getting back my results and doing better then I expected
- Mummy and Daddy telling me that they are proud of my results
- Going for P & W workshop
- Getting reaffirmed to be a worship leader
- Facilitating Secondary 3 Camp
- You writing that letter after camp ( it meant so much to me that you were willingly to open up to us)
- Watching the Primary 2's take Holy Communion
- Listening to Jesher Do the reading
- Watching Julian and Jesher sing the Psalm
- Seeing the smiles of the children when I walk into the center
- That certain little girl and how her face lit up when she saw me
- Two different little boys showing me in different ways that they had let me into their world.
- The children wanting to hold my hand
- Hearing the children call for me very happily
- Seeing your improvement after my long absence from the center
- Passing my supervision even though I know I should ave failed (Thank you God!)
- Meeting up with Twin
- Meeting up with Jo and Angel dear and talking
- Every single time the bus comes when I'm running late
- The traffic lights that just miraculously turn green all the time
- God telling me that he will never forsake me
- Meeting the Monday Charismatic people, you give me endless encouragement
- Meeting the CTK Charismatic people, I learnt that having faith doesn't mean that you become a different person
- Talking to Teacher Brendan
- Listening to Alicia Sing
- Watching Sisterhood of the traveling pants 2
- Every single time I wake up in the morning
- Going through the Jesus Letterbox while I pack up
- Making new friends
- Reading elephant in the playroom
- Reading my sister's keeper
- Singing trading my sorrows
- Every single P & W session that I am at
- Every single time we practice for P & W
- Every single time I lead worship
- When people open up to me and talk about how they feel
- Buying those two books that I have wanted since forever
- Walking on the road and listening to P & W music
- When people smile when I smile
- Seeing char's nephew smile at me
- Seeing Anastasia in her mad moods
- Playing the water drinking game
- Finding out Charlene has suitors ( Every moment that I am happy means God is there!)
- Getting the confirmation from God to go for WYD
- Writing my stories
- My inspiration for lesson plans
- Coming home and seeing my parents cooking dinner
- Getting a special pen for Christmas
- My 18th Birthday surprise!
- Planning surprise parties ( I will never forget Bona's shocked expression)
- Looking at the facebook photos of WYD
- Confession at WYD
- Quiet time
- When mummy reminds me she loves me
- Making strawberry hearts for the Cat. Class party
- When the P2 children when for confession
- Going to Vietnam and going through those tunnels
- Interviewing Gavin
- Writing the Down syndrome book
- Realizing that children with special needs love so wholeheartedly
- Getting Hana Yori Dango the Final for Christmas
- Every time I need direction and I open the bible
- Listening to colors of the wind and really listening to the words for the first time
- Hugs during Charismatic
- Going for Day of Fun
- Writing songs about God
- Reading different people's blogs
- Listening to Esther Talk
- Playing with the children at the playground
- Finding that storybook for children about God
- Crying and people giving me hugs
- Giving people presents
- Going shopping with the girls
- People turning to me when they need someone to listen to them
Who knew it would be so hard,I'm really really sure there are more, I should start recording them more often
the past.
you know what. I really hope if one day I ever see you again, my heart won't beat so fast at the sight of you. Sometimes I do miss you and I really feel like calling you, but I just can't do it. I feel afraid but I never ever regret knowing you, letting you into my life and being part of me. You will always occupy that special place that I hold dear in my heart. I will always love you and I hope you are doing fine.
i feel like time is moving too fast
i can't seem to finish anything on time
I'll admit it
i'm stressed!
It's a start of a new year
I NEED to be STOP daydreaming
living in my own little pretty world
BE more disciplined!
I want to be more independent, I realised I can be very dependent on others which is bad. The year 2008 seem to pass very quickly, It feels that I have wasted a year just like that. I really regret not studying enough for my MMS paper. I don't wish to repeat this mistake ever again. One regret is more than enough. When will I ever wake up? To STOP PLAYING all the time and START STUDYING. When will I ever cultivate the habit to stop studying on a last minute basis? I know this is not easy but I will work hard. I am going to be 19 this year. I am not young anymore. I have to know what I want in life. I hope I can learn driving soon!(:
I want to move on. let it be history.
