always and forever

what i have learned this holiday so far
1. working is not fun
2. a relationship with god is a two way thing, you have to do your part for it to work
3. i let the light change me, and now i don't want that change to stay
4. the fullness of life is in god
5. writing in caps is not all that cracked up as it seems
6. i miss just being me
7. happiness is a choice, and today and everyday on I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

this few months have been crap,
it's been tiring, like there was no light at the end of the tunnel
yesterday, someone said this.
"I know god loves me because he shows his love for me in the small things. It could just be that today is so hot so hot so hot. And at the end of the day he sends a gentle breeze to cool me down"

And i finally realized that yes this few months have been dry, but i have not done my part in my relationship with god. I haven't spent time with him , in fact I've been running away from him.
and today's gospel just hit me on how people grumbled that they got the same pay as the workers who came later. Even though they got the pay that god promised them. And why should they be envious that he is generous. And it came to me that maybe i was upset with god because i felt that people who got to know him later got the same gifts and love that he showed me.

so indeed why should i be envious that he is generous? After all, the time that i have spent with him is longer and so much more and these times are something that they cannot rewind and get for themselves and yet here i am being unwillingly to share.

dear lord,
I pray that today, tomorrow and every other day,
i remember that you may have new children every day
but that I am still special to you
and that no matter what you willl always love me.
That i will not be selfish and not want you to touch their lives
and like you have touched mine.
And that i always remember it is for your glory.
Always your glory.
Amen.

posted by val @ 6:56 AM